It's Monday and more importantly, its Merlina's birthday! Happy Birthday Sweetie! I miss u!!
Monday 30 April 2007
Monday 23 April 2007
i'm not ready
This weekend I came to the realization that I'm not ready for a relationship yet. How can I be if I don't like myself enough? This realization hurts on so many different levels. There are still things about me that I can't seem to deal with....why? I'm an intelligent, grown woman; yet if I can't deal with my unappealing side, why should a man want to deal with them and also me dealing with them? Even the whininess of this post is driving me crazy.
Monday 16 April 2007
cheating on a crush
Is there such a thing as cheating on a crush?
I was talking with some friends and we were just passing the time, trying to decide what constitutes cheating. Since my dating resume has many more Crushes than it has Relationships, I was very intrigued by the questions posed about cheating on a crush. My knee-jerk reaction was to of course think the idea was ludicrous. What exactly would I be cheating on? We aren't committed to each other in any way, shape, or form so how could I be unfaithful to nothing?
A more romantic notion was presented though, which really made my gears start working. If you really like someone and have a profound interest in them, isn't it possible to cheat on the idea of being with them? I think I agree with this (to a certain extent, keep reading).
Some crushes are merely because I am bored while others are more friend crushes and my interests are more sociable. Sometimes though I have a "rip my heart out" type of crush that occupies more of my mind and being than I thought was possible. (like the one im having right now towards mr useless oooppps… conservative) So while my interest lies in this person, yet nothing "real" has come from it, is it possible to cheat on the idea of the crush? Is flirting with others or going on dates with other guys being unfaithful to my feelings? I kinda think it is. Because I’ve literally dump my fifty-something man (rich man) over the conservative guy. If I like someone (him) that much, then how can I not be invested in it and true to it?
However... my next question is... when do you get over a crush? When its enough to not "cheat" on, then how do you move on? At a certain point, either something will come of the crush or it won't, so in the latter scenario, when do you have to move on? A future blog, perhaps.
I was talking with some friends and we were just passing the time, trying to decide what constitutes cheating. Since my dating resume has many more Crushes than it has Relationships, I was very intrigued by the questions posed about cheating on a crush. My knee-jerk reaction was to of course think the idea was ludicrous. What exactly would I be cheating on? We aren't committed to each other in any way, shape, or form so how could I be unfaithful to nothing?
A more romantic notion was presented though, which really made my gears start working. If you really like someone and have a profound interest in them, isn't it possible to cheat on the idea of being with them? I think I agree with this (to a certain extent, keep reading).
Some crushes are merely because I am bored while others are more friend crushes and my interests are more sociable. Sometimes though I have a "rip my heart out" type of crush that occupies more of my mind and being than I thought was possible. (like the one im having right now towards mr useless oooppps… conservative) So while my interest lies in this person, yet nothing "real" has come from it, is it possible to cheat on the idea of the crush? Is flirting with others or going on dates with other guys being unfaithful to my feelings? I kinda think it is. Because I’ve literally dump my fifty-something man (rich man) over the conservative guy. If I like someone (him) that much, then how can I not be invested in it and true to it?
However... my next question is... when do you get over a crush? When its enough to not "cheat" on, then how do you move on? At a certain point, either something will come of the crush or it won't, so in the latter scenario, when do you have to move on? A future blog, perhaps.
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