Thursday 22 September 2011

When you know you've hit a low point...


I normally park my car at a mall next to my office building and have a nice little walk to office from there. During this walk every morning, I always think about all the places I would rather be than on the way to my job. And it wasn’t a, “Oh man, I really wish I was some beach front right about now” or “Wouldn’t it be nice if I had the day off to sit around in my PJs?”

No, this was serious low point shit.

During my walk, I would pass little cafes, shops & bars. And I would say to myself, “Please, you could own a bar. How hard to own a bar? I should open a bar like tomorrow so I don’t have to go to work at X Company anymore.” That would be great!” The kicker…at one point I actually thought, “I would rather work at a laundry shop. Ironing clothes sounds fun!”

Like really, I thought ironing clothes all day in a hot cleaners sounded like a terrific job next to my 9 to 6 so called corporate job where I basically sat at my desk and answer phones and emails. Talk about a cushy job compared to manual hard labor.

But that’s when I know I hit a low point. My low point was thinking I would rather quit my job and get a job at cleaners.

Today (it's 5am - yesterday actually) was another one of those low points for me. I’m chalking it up to changes going at my current company and within my department specifically. I’m sure tomorrow will be better.

But today I would rather have had a job at cleaners.

Sunday 4 September 2011

ghost attack... in dream!

Coupla nights ago I had this violent dream! The most realistic dream/nightmare I have encountered. This whole experience seemed 100% real as it was happening in my mind.

I, what I thought having trouble breathing, as though something has its hands wrapped around my neck, I can feel this thing sitting knees first down on top of my chest choking my throat, with something holding my arms down. I tried screaming for help but unable to mutter much more that a faint murmur, due to the being’s hands wrapped around my throat. I remember where I was able to somewhat fight this thing off my body and forcing myself to wake up/open my eyes. But I realize this being was back the moment I started to doze off again and I could felt a surge of pressure being applied to my body by this being again and again.

After several minutes of trying to fight this being off my body, I started to communicate with this being by asking it the name... (crazy right… I know I do crazy things even in my own dream!?) Anyway, I recall there wasn’t clear answer from it though I remember hearing a female voice. Well then realizing something is seriously not right I recollect an old Hinduism saying that chanting Lord Shiva’s mantra would ward off evil spirits. I, somewhat have been involving myself into some pious activities lately remembered some mantras at that point and I started to recite them continuously. Than what seemed to be 5 or 10 minutes later, I physically woke up, for real, and threw the pillows and quilt off and turned on the lights and headed straight to my prayer alter to light my prayer lamps. Then I realize it was 7.30ish… pm and there was no one else in the apartment. I suppose it was a wrong timing for a nap!

But, all I could put down to this is it was just a dream. Is there a psychological meaning behind it? Or was it a supernatural thing? Naturally I’m a trouble sleeper, I only get to sleep from 2 to 4 hours a day, may be my exhausted body with years of lack of sleep is trying to sent some message to me. But why it has to be violent? Seriously, this is the first time for me with no previous occurrence of any of this kind before. In the past, on coupla occasions I have had what I believe to be a “good” dream with my deceased father. But none of them were the violent kind - they were all good.

Recalling back similar stories I heard from friends & relatives in the past, wonder if it could be more of a sleep paralysis syndrome? I guess, from now on I’ll stop making fun of my friends who actually been through similar experiences. I’ve been reading some stories in the net, there were both psychological & and mythical interpretations for this. However, the interesting pieces were from my mom and uncle. Mom’s interpretation was along with her usual scolding is being coming really late almost every day could have caused this as that “something” might have followed me back… (I know - she is impossible right). And of course my uncle requested me to ask for a 4D number the next time I experience the similar thing.

Anyway, if it’s a paralysis syndrome, I wonder can “ghosts” visit in dreams. I didn’t think it was possible? Nevertheless, this incident has freaked me completely.