Honestly, the past week has been slowly changing my focus… and it’s helping bring things into a better perspective for my life, helping me learn how to live my life.
Well, mainly two things are occupying my time these days…
- I’m pondering the concept of life, the universe and everything.
- I’m also spending some time actually doing stuff – the nits and bolts of changing my habit, my circumstances and my body.
Also, I’d learned something from a very dear boy I met last week...
Andrew! and he is autistic. I tell you that not to make you feel sorry for him or his parents, not to make you think that I am somehow a ‘good’ person for befriending him. I tell you he is autistic because it makes him more alive than the rest of us. Well, I knew him back when his mother enforced him to attend the school holiday workshops back when I was at New Straits Times. But I guess I was too dim back then that I never realize how wonderful he could be. I remember I was in a way afraid of him because of his condition. But when I met him the other day at KLCC when he was enjoying his meal with his brother and mom… It just occured to me that he is indeed such a breathtaking, smart and a sweet boy… or rather a man right now :) and that we could actually have a proper intellectual conversation with him.
Well, between my long hours at work, the dishes at home, to the laundry that can easily pile up into a monster that I want to avoid, to the bathroom that can easily become disgusting if left unattended for too long and the kitchen that I don’t want to be in… I was just trying to find a little bit of solitude for myself so that I could clear my mind and stop worrying for a mere moment. God knows I am learning to be thankful for the time I do have, and the things I do have under my responsibility to take care of… but… Heck, life is stressful! whatever our jobs or obligations there is always more to do, things to learn, and ways to be better. That’s not a bad thing though I do spend awful lot of time worrying about things.
However meeting Andrew the other day was refreshing. Andrew is unfettered by social expectations. He spends no time worrying about whether he has the right friends, or if it will ever be sunny again or is just being annoying. Each moment in life presents itself to him for exactly what it is: that moment. A moment filled with the potential of what it could be. And he grabs it, hold it tight, and squeezes every last bit of unabashed joy from it.
Well, my to do list is still long. My apartment is till in the mess, I’ve got tons to do at work. And I have a fast approaching deadlines as well. But, I can still be like Andrew.... right! I don’t have to stop and set aside time for it. All I have to do is to remember to live.
Thanks Andrew.
