the ride

I've found that relationships are a lot like rollercoasters.

You wait in line for what seems like forever just for the chance to catch a ride. Then before you know it, you're being propelled full throttle along this long, winding track...hanging on for dear life as you take the highs and lows...the twists and turns...the fear and excitement.

Sometimes you even feel a little sick. But when that car finally comes to a grinding halt and the chaos around you dies down... the real question is, in the end, was it really worth the ride?

The hopeful part of me wants to think so...

If you're lucky enough to have found that 'one' person. You'll endure most anything.

It's just that I'm not sure if I'm gripping the rail... or someone's hand.

everybody cares, everybody understands

This site has been filled with so many half truths and incomplete stories for the past few weeks that I want to scream. I'm surprised any of you bother to read it any more. I know I barely do.

Well, stay tuned people. If my predictions come true, things will start to get a bit interesting here as truth comes out.

stillness...

I look in his eyes and lose my breath, my heart swells in my chest, beating rapidly but the blood fails to move through my veins. I lose control of my body for a split second, every inch of me numb except the burning in my chest and the swelling of tears behind my eyes. I'm not sure if the ache in my heart is love or fear / the intense love I have for the man who's gaze I'm lost in, or fear that I might hurt that same man / fear that I might break a heart that deserves nothing less than undying love and devotion.

His eyes sparkle from within, mischievous and spirited, yet calm and soothing / I get lost in them until I feel his hand graze my neck. He runs his long fingers through my hair, breaking his gaze / my eyes don't leave his face as I admire his features. His dark skin from, his adorable nose, those amazing eyes that can tell stories with no words, that grin that can make me laugh forever or aggravate me to no end, his jaw covered in a day's stubble turning his babyface features ruggedly handsome for the night. I long to kiss him, to be in his arms as the woman he loves, the one he can't stop thinking about and will never stop loving...

...But for now I will settle. I will settle with being the girl who he cares dearly and I will be the girl who waits until he realizes I am the woman he will never stop loving.

silly thing

Nothing is easy. This is the message I was continually knocked up side the head with last week. Nothing is easy, especially when it comes to relationships.

This silly thing going on between me and mr conservative has gone into not so favorable turn. The biggest mistake I made was getting him back into my life. It was a big fantasy for me. I should never have brought it up him in a serious way. Yes… things are bit serious now by making the whole situation much complicated that it really should be?

Why is love, along with so many other things in life, so painful? Shouldn't something so grand eventually get easy? For heaven's sake, we spend enough time second guessing ourselves and primping that we deserve something to go smoothly!

To top it off, the two silly people (myself and Ms Vege) took themselves to see The Last Kiss last night at the International Screen in Midvalley. I don't want to give anything away, but holy hell. Is someone trying to send me a message? I was ready to walk out mid movie and drown my sorrows in a nice merlot that i bought from cold storage last week. Instead, I stuck around and saw the light.

The (en)light(enment)? Nothing is easy, especially relationships. If they're worth it, then you fight for it. You sacrifice and maybe even give a little of yourself.

Sigh.