blueprint for women

So a few weeks ago, I’m sitting at my desk (bored of course because it’s Friday and because it’s FRIDAY) and I came across an article by Penelope Trunk (founder of match.com) entitled Blueprint for a Woman’s Life. 

Let me summarize the story for you. Basically the article talks about what a woman should be doing with her life – personally and professionally – between the ages of 18 and 45. What comes next is bit controversial where the advice starts with not necessarily doing well in school because other things are important too, concentrate on your look, and going to college looking good, consider plastic surgery in your 30’s etc.

The part of the article I want to focus on primarily is the part where she says the 20’s are all about finding a husband who you want to parent with and then your 30’s are for having kids and that your career should come second. Start your career, but don’t focus solely on it. Use your spare time to find a mate and don’t let work get in the way of your relationship.

Before you get your pitchforks out, let me just say that she does make a good point.

Trunk argues that we as women have our whole lives to get a career. We do not, however, have all the time in the world to have children. Trunk says it like it is, “Your career skills will outlast your ovaries.” So focus on your ovaries. Trunk talks more about finding the partner for this, but I think this could pertain just to having children in general.

Let’s face it. The world isn’t fair. As women, we want to have it all. And we want the equality to have it all. But no matter what, if we do have children we have to take time off to do so. And we get a little off track in the process. Reading Trunk’s article made me feel like I could have it all if I followed this blueprint. But honestly, according to this blueprint I’m already wayyyyy behind.

In the beginning, I did really well in school, I mean I was one of those definitely fall under school-wide top 5, straight A student. And, just when I thought everything was going super fine with me, as usual, life has it’s own way to crash right at you… somehow I couldn’t continue to higher education as I planned, so, everything else was either delayed or just passed right through me. I seriously had no time or intuition to find a mate/man in my twenties because I was just busy searching for LIFE! PEACE… trying every bit to survive! So, can’t really I agree with Trunk there? Sometime things go wrong! And I’m in my thirties now and I don’t have a serious boyfriend (let’s be honest, I haven’t had a serious boyfriend since high school) and I don’t think Mr. Right is going to just land in my lap because I have a blueprint to follow! But gotta hand it to you that the part of having kids in your thirties doesn’t really bothers me much cuz for some strange reason I don’t like the little humans. Ok, now I know most of you wanna take that pitchfork out again!

Here’s what I got out of this article and what I think we should all get out of this article. WORK ISN’T THE END ALL TO BE ALL. Yes, having a career is important. Feeling needed and important and getting praise is all-important. But it’s not all there is to life. Do you want love in your life? Then you need to make that a priority. Really, instead of seeing the controversy to this article, I choose to see another kind of advice.

What we really need in life is balance. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. It’s OK to love your career, but it’s also OK to remember that you don’t need to work until 8PM every night and it’s OK to not work at all on the weekends and it’s OK to check your Match.com profile during lunch (what? who me? I would never!) And it’s ok to get a botox in your 40’s.