all that i cant' say...

I’ve been thinking this week about all the things I don’t say about myself (and for those who know me pretty well that’s saying a lot). The really personal, deep down issues that could make most run screaming into the darkness if they were to see. And then with this thought I had wonder if I were being true to this blog and the reason that I write in it.

*shrug* don’t know.

What do I know is that I can’t bear all of my soul for the universe to sniff at, find lacking and then pee all over; I get enough of that from self introspection.

So, here’s a post about all the things I can’t say, but sometimes I wish I could.

sirilah raman

"be my friend"

I think I get "Be My Friend" crushes. I encounter certain guys and there is something about them that makes me want to have them be a part of my life. I love having a lot of guy friends and I'm not sure if it's the "big brother" aspect of it or just because guys seem to be a lot less petty than girls. I'm not sure sometimes though if I have a real crush or a "Be My Friend" crush and then I don't know how to go about getting that person in my life.

In some cases I find myself going back and forth between making eyes at someone and having a friendly conversation (not that a friendly conversation doesn't go with a romantic prospect). This is on my mind because at the moment I know someone who I want in my friends list. My Mr married-guy. I'm not trying to flirt with him but at times it just happens and then I get confused which kind of crush I'm having.

I hate being confused.

thirty, flirty & thriving

I woke up yesterday to face the world as thirty something chic. Another year older! and more cheekier...:) If I’m being honest, I’ve actually spent the last week dealing with and celebrating the fact that…

• I have changed (evolved the right word), in many aspects of my life, especially the EQ factor.
• Celebrated my birthday without a drop of tears.
• Overcome a crash-boom-bang sorta relatioship halt with the conservative guy and moved on.
• Come to terms with dealing my family (real family) in much politically-correct terms.
• Kissed someone...:) (a memorable birthday kiss)
• I have finished a bottle of rose all by myself (and some gin).
• Joined a fitness (& fancy) gym - Celebrity Fitness.
• Back on the road again being fabulously single...
• Received a bouquet (the big & expensive type) from my fifty-something guy, delivered to my office.
• Had a birthday dinner with the nice-guy and planning my second birthday dinner with my fifty something guy today.
• Also, received RM500.00 in cash as a birthday gift from a father figure and a Sony Cybershot camera (7.2 megapixel) from another father figure.
  

I guess it was an OK birthday. Again, Happy Birthday to me...

Sirilah Raman