As I was heading towards my daily work starting page online, I saw a link for a "How To Tell The Difference Between Love, Infatuation, And Lust". I still, at age of thirty somethin, have not been able to clearly make distinctions between these feelings. Unlike my friend, who says people are too careful with using the big L word (love, for those still half asleep), I probably fall into the camp of saving it for perfect moments and situations. It's not something I guard and I'm not holding onto it like a nun and her virginity, or placing it on a too-high pedestal but, it makes me cringe when it's thrown around. To reference one of my favorite shows, did you hear what George said to Callie on Grey's Anatomy? He wanted to wait to say "I love you" back to her and make sure she knew he meant it. Not the obligatory response to someone else saying it. I loved it when George said that. It's so true.
But anyway, so this article gives a way to make distinctions between these feelings (love, lust, infatuation).
Step 1 is to write down words you associate with the person you feel strongly about such as butterflies, snoring, annoying, holding hands, sex etc.
Step 2 says to circle each feeling with a different color: green for love, yellow for infatuation, and red for lust. (Why doesn't love=red?)
Step 3 then says to see which color stands out. If there is not a clear winner, then move on to the following steps.
Step 4 sucks and says to read scriptures or literature that describes love. Yuck! I don't want to do that because I have enough trouble listening to songs about love and not totally melting.
Step 5 might be good for feedback but will be hard to actually do. Ask friends (or other third party) to give their opinion on what kind of feeling they think it is. Show them your color coded list. I couldn't do this. I would be embarrassed because I wouldn't want to explain to someone the reasons why I may or may not love a person.
Step 6 I could do. Watch a movie that might show the feelings you suspect you have. Cruel Intentions is all about lust, Titanic is about holding onto love forever, The Notebook is about love, etc.
This is an interesting idea, working through complicated feelings by writing them down. Is it possible though to be in lust with someone for years? Or to be infatuated with a person for an extended period of time. Well, yeah, I guess so. I'm thinking of a list of examples…
2 comments:
Hmm, I don't know abt all the other steps (also, don't have anyone to circle in green, red etc!) but something you said about step 6 really works for me- writing things out. I've kept journals off and on over the years, but I find that recently, it really helps me to write down something that's bothering me cos I start being a bit more rational about things. I'm even nerdy enough to go back to old entries when I fall into the same habits (missing someone too much. . ) to remind myself of the stuff I wrote down. . hope it works for you too :)
mm
Grey's Anatomy - don't u just love it? An interesting post about distincions of the 3 emotions. I liked it. And what MM said, writing is good avenue to rationalise ur thoughts.
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