Yesterday was one of the worst days I have had. I was on the verge of tears the entire day and almost asked to leave work early because everything was adding to my stress and causing me to want to scream. I know WHY I was in such a horrible mood but it's still stuff I can't even put into words. Not because it's difficult or painful, but because I honestly can not string together the correct verbs and nouns to explain how I was feeling and what sparked my mood. But as I accepted the fact that I couldn't clarify to myself what was going on, it upset me even more that as a result I would not be able to fix the problem. How do you say to someone that you are upset when it can't be that simple and 500 footnotes are needed to explain and clarify. "I miss you" on it's own is both too little and too much.
"Why?" can either open a can of worms or elicit a disappointing and anti-climactic response.
In more lighthearted news, the situation with him (conservative guy) yesterday… I think I smiled more than I had in awhile when I saw him at the function hall. Having all clues point to me was a fun game for the evening but one I had to play with caution. I wouldn't want to come away from the situation with an air of deceitfulness as someone who plays around with matters of the heart. But I think I did a good job and merely filled a role yet kept the flirting to a minimum as to not act interested where I am not.
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