So, I found/remembered and was reading through an old live journal that I kept in 2004, which was pretty embarrassing to go through. Even worse that I was a moron and used pretty much everyone’s real name. But tt is interesting to see how far I’ve come in three years.
I may have similar problems or thoughts right now but i can safely say that I express them and approach them in a much more sophisticated way. I’ve become more independent, more comfortable with myself (for the most part) and just grown up overall.
Anyway, I also came across an interesting little entry, where I questioned my identity. It’s funny, I guess I still have that question. In secondary school I was “so and so’s girlfriend”, in college I was this kinda person, then when i was at NY I was this and this or the “asian girl in NY” or something like that. And, I was thinking… in the future I’ll be someone’s wife, or someone’s mom, or something of that nature.
But right now, in this moment…what am I? I don’t “belong” to anyone or anything… I’m just…me. But, what does that mean? I’m somebody’s friend, I’m somebody’s co-worker or employee, somebody’s relative or somebody’s daughter… but, to me that’s not really an identity. It’s not something that impacts others, or even something that is truly meaningful. Not that being someone’s girlfriend or in a particular sorority was meaningful or descriptive of who I am… but I guess it was something to identify with. Life is all about relationships and networks, so, I guess I’m just struggling with where I fit into that right now.
Just a thought I revisited and decided to throw out there…
just me.
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