Wednesday 21 May 2008

bittersweet...

I've grown accustomed to the fact that things don't always turn out the way I planned and I've become adept at making quick decisions when the road ahead takes a sharp, unexpected turn.

But even now, equipped as I am with all of my hard learned survival skills... I find myself caught off guard, watching my heart override the emotions I had thought were already in line to handle the situation.

There was a time when I wanted certain others to feel the very hurt and despair that they had gifted upon me. I hoped and prayed for it as my body racked with sobs and my heart nearly ceased its beating.

I wanted the revenge and satisfaction in knowing that they were hurting as much as I had.

But that's not how it has happened.

Instead of vindication, my silly heart filled with care and compassion and I find myself desperately seeking a way to fix the hurt and I don't know why…

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

The bottom line is that we all are adults and make our own choices and in matters of the heart there is always risk involved. In the end we are responsible for ourselves, unless we actively sought to hurt someone, and then you're a bad person and you deserve what karma will give you.
You Sri have a very kind heart and have done nothing wrong.
In the immortal words of The Hold Steady, "It burns being broke and hurts to be heartbroken, and always being both must be a drag." take care.

q

Anonymous said...

sri

You are a kind person... and i know you too well. These feelings are absolutely normal.

j

Anu said...

U know u've reached a better place when ur heart wants to cure another's pain. And one can hope
(I do) that your own pain and hurt will be over soon.

sri said...

yes, i agree i am responsible for my actions and the following consequences. i hope - i won't make the wrong choices in future...

jay - thx, ur being too nice & sweet.

anu - do u thing it's possible for the pain and hurt to turn into beautiful memories one day... i certainly hope so...