how do you know if a guy is just admiring you...

How do you know when a guy is just admiring you from afar or is actually interested in you? I'm not conceited or anything but I find some guys... ok... one guy looks at me a lot but never approach me. Well, at least not in that way...

so, I am a bit wary now of forming crushes on guys who do this because they either turn out to be married or already have a girlfriend. Guys only seem to flirt with me when it’s "safe" to do so, i.e they know they’re not going to take it any further.

Sometime I wonder why they don’t even see me as a person!!?

May be that’ s the reason why I’m so guarded nowadays and I’m wary of flirting because I know how easy it is now to lead someone on and I don’t want to look like a fool.

re-run

I wanted to get a different post up...but...I'm drawing a blank. So, I made the decision to republish and old entry. There are only a handful of you who read this the first time around so it's like brand new to everyone else. Score!

I'm fat. For those of you who know me, you're probably thinking 'duh' right now. I'm aware of this...a lot of the time I'm acutely aware of this. The thing is that sometimes (for brief periods of time) I forget. Then I see pictures...or video and become aware that, not only am I fat, I'm much fatter than I thought. The evolved side of me realizes that I should have the " and?" mentality. Who the hell who should care that I'm fat any more than they care that I have beautiful long hair? Yes, there are the health reasons, I have this thing called PCOS syndrome. but let's face it, very few people give a shit enough to think about that when they're looking at you. The evolved side of me watched the F.A.T. pageant the other night at Channel V and was proud of these girls (versus the other part of me who was thinking the smaller chicks were definitely more attractive). The un-evolved, self-conscious part of me is uncomfortable in my body, worries whether I would be able to be hired for the job I want, wonders how I'll ever attract a man. I write all of this because I'm tired of bowing to the evolved side...tired of letting my weak nature and busy schedule win. I want to eat better, exercise more, and not feel like cringing as I see a picture of me.

pluck musical arson

Sometime you just need a fun and comical musical to take you away and that is exactly what I found at PJ Live Arts Ctr last night, PLUCK Musical Arson. The trio bills themselves as “the world’s funniest string trio,” brought along their comedy, classics and… well, indigenous argument – from UK.

You should watch…

PS – Thanks Anu, for the free ticket - it's always good to have friends in the newspaper business :)

i need a hug... part 2

The alarm clock goes off every morning at 7am. It’s the same routine, climb out of bed, shower, get dressed and battle the traffic to get to work. I used to have good and bad days at work, but now everyday is a bad day. Could this be a sign... I’m in the wrong career?

This morning started out really iffy. I literally cried the whole morning and to my annoyance I have no privacy even to cry in this office – I had to hide my sorrows all the way. What a life…

Anyway, I’m looking forward to go out with Anu later. Should be fun to get out for a bit.