thank you letter to the universe...

I started to write this thank you letter on December morning as the year was about to end and a new one ready to begin. I just had a chance to complete this…

It’s a cloudy Saturday morning. The sun seems to be hiding behind the clouds today. I don’t mind. It’s cool and I’m still tucked under the blankets.  In a few hours, I’ll be meeting a friend at Bangsar, for our New Year’s Eve dinner & party! We have decided to have our last meal of the year at Chilis – our all time preferred choice! So before the party starts, I would like to take this time to write you a thank you letter.

God, thank you for this wonderful year! All five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes of it! Thank you for the little and big milestones that have happened in my life. Growing up can sometimes be a painful thing especially when it involves handling our emotional and mental state. But what a year of learning and growing! I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I smile with delight but why are the tears falling down my face, blurring my eyes? Perhaps it’s because I just know that there is so much love and gratitude within and all around me. I thank you for this precious, very precious gift.

A life lived in love is so much different. I know because I too have walked the valleys of darkness. And yet, I have made it through. I am here, alive and free! And everyday has become a celebration for me.

The universe, thank you for all the small miracles that comprised the bigger miracle in my life. The miracle of finding, knowing and loving myself. I was lost but now I am found. As I have experienced your love and grow to love myself, I noticed that I am reaching out more to others. I rejoice every time I am able to respond better to situations. I am becoming a better daughter, friend, colleague and a person.

God, thank you for giving me the heart to receive love from others. The same heart that went under the knife when it was so tiny… the same heart that could have died long long time ago when I was still a baby! Thank you so much for still making it alive and fully-function J - Special thanks for that and your love have touched my life.

CK – You have blessed my life so much when you reached out and shared who you are with me. You are the first person who loved me just the way I am and told me about it. Your honesty, encouragement, openness and perceptiveness encouraged and uplifted me more than you will ever know. Looking forward to be your bridesmaid :)

Anu –. We have known each other for more than a decade now and it seems like a lifetime already. I am glad that I am able to be ME around you. I do not have any masks and pretensions. I look forward to another year of growing and learning with you. You have been the best person for me to journey with in the discovery of myself.

Qaisra – She delights me with her bubbly personality and I enjoyed the friendship that we shared.

Mr Nathan – My Father, teacher, guru and a friend. I have much to learn from you. Thank you for making my dreams comes true.

Ms Z – Thank you for being there…

Mei Ling – Thank you for always being so warm and encouraging and most importantly for believing in me… I enjoyed our exchanges immensely.

Mr Conservative – Because of you I learn the meaning of love, pain and everything that comes along with it.

My Boss (Mr. Real McCoy) - Thank you for teaching me that not all women have to be saved by a prince. I have much to learn from you.

Mom - For being kind and gracious all the time (okay, not all the times mebbe some times). You are my one and only family I have left! 

Hoong Ling - For your kindness... and the lovely apt!

Thank you for all the newborn babies that have come across my path this year… for teaching me how precious life is J

To all my friends (including FB friends) those who have touched and inspired me, thank you so much.

I’ve discovered that when I started writing my thank you letter, I can see and feel love through my experiences and the love I have felt from so many. I feel so abundant and very blessed. I pray now that please god bless all of them tremendously in the coming year - a life filled with love and abundance in all the aspects of their lives.

I am alive. I am free to live a life of love.

Yaay! I’m going to go out and celebrate life with you in the next five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes! And most importantly at Chili’s tonight with Anu & Margaritas… Hahaha

Love – Sirilah Raman

New Year!

Well, this is one holiday that I guess almost everyone celebrates. A start of a brand, spanking new year. And time to make resolutions… that most probably you’ll break the next day J. Well, I've been working on it for weeks now somehow couldn't put my mind on it. Perhaps my mind is still taking time thinking through what I have achieved/done in 2011.

What I have achieved… hmmm lets see! Apparently nothing from my last New Year’s list!

I made a promise to myself that I would make my body look sexier… little did I make effort on this. So yes, in 2012, I will try to put more effort to get a better body.  Carrying it forward!

I also wanted to get better pay at work!! I failed at that too… but I’m not going to take this forward this year because somehow I just lost interest or rather hope! I’ve actually already come to term that we must look and behave the certain way in order to achieve this and I certainly don’t have any of those qualities. Leaving it behind…

Thirdly, I wanted to work on my anger management… hmmm! Just yesterday, I would have strangled my ‘so called’ subordinate at office if she had been around (thank god she was not). And, I came real close (I mean really close) to throwing my housemates' (tenant actually) belongings out for not paying my rental on time… So, big flop there too. And I seriously need to work on it this year. 

I have gained healthy weight throughout the year L mainly because I have discontinued my gym membership since I can’t afford them anymore (they are literally daylight robbers). And my weekend workout at gym was my only mode of exercise for last few years and without that I’m not going anywhere near losing the weight. Carrying it forward… just not sure about the methodology!

Finally, and the hardest part would be to be a good daughter and wonderful friend and bring happiness to other people… well, failed terrible at this one! And I just don’t wanna talk about it. 

At least the one that I have achieved successfully is - I have been somewhat writing whole heartly on this blog lately, especially on my rants and ravings to share with everyone that is willing to read. My offends in those posts are sincere as well `no doubts` I am sorry that it’s not making some of you happy if I am actually talking about you or whatever that’s the opposite of your interest, you can either keep it as a memory or… hate me. It’s all on you!

Happy New Year everyone, love yo’ll!