the most difficult part of work... and life!

Hi all,

January, February and now March seems like flying by…

And, I’ve sat down to write this post almost everyday for the past one week and have gone through a million different variations in my mind. In some ways… 
mostly related to life, work etc…

It’s Monday… I slept in on both Saturday & Sunday, went to coffee place and read the papers (yes, the print version) and watched tons of movies… Forest Gump, X-men 2, LOTR the two towers, Angels & demons etc. Also, some reflecting back moments in my life. I love being taken back to moments; some are good, some are not… For example – the day my dad was killed in an accident! January 28^th, 1998, it has been 14 years, still brings tears in my eyes if I reflect back on the thought of it.

Well, this isn’t an easy road… but it’s the road we all find ourselves on. The small victories are milestones along the way just as the losses are around-about life lessons. But thanks to both!

I think it is absolutely amazing how universe often takes us down paths in life, which we never imagined we’d led down. How life tugs us different direction, that we never even seen as an option. Every step we take is a new lesson to be learned.

I’ve notice people are ‘always’ quick to complaint about how miserable they are. I know I do most of the time! But really, what have we done to change that?

I’m keep-hearing remark(s) from my friends that if you’re not happy with your job, leave it. There are tons of jobs that will fit your needs that you can put your god given talents into. So, I’ve made my mind, instead of complaining 'bout it all day long, I’d decided to leave! Find another job where people actually able to value my capability, knowledge and most importantly can hear my voice. Still looking for one though I know I’ll get one sooner or later.

Its feels like I’ve wasted so much time here. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts, do things my own, stand up for myself, my beliefs… they call me a bitch, immature and problematic staff. No matter how difficult or confusing the path was… I stayed on all these while here because deep down inside I always believed that the boss is still a good man… a man of his word! I know I’m not perfect and I can’t pretend to be one as well. But for what he has done or rather behaved in last coupla weeks, I seriously wish that I could/should/would have… tell him off… to his face that I’m smart, capable and most importantly I am free in all ways you are not. It’s my right to make few mistakes and if you can’t accept few of my imperfections, that’s your fault. At least I have the courage to speak my own thoughts and be honest about myself. And, I have guts to share my fears, vulnerabilities, tears and insecurities. What do you have? A fake and a life full of pretends and denials?!

Anyway, screw them all… 
I’m not going to let these people to ruin my life!

Last few days, I’ve been thinking a lot on this…. On how to move on! Well, growth… that was my one word universe often takes us down paths in life. And truthfully, only time can reveal the meaning behind each step that we take, and each direction that we walk, in life.

I’ve always been a kind of individual who finds happiness in the simplest of things. But I must admit, the magnitude of happiness is amazing… when you sit back and allow the universe to lead you down most unexpected paths, that one of the most unexpected paths, that he ultimately already knew he’d direct you towards.

So, this is it! I’m moving on… to a new path, towards new direction. But I know there are many hills upfront…