sri's state of the union

Its that time of the year again. My birthday is rolling around (October 31, if you care to know) and I've been going over the past year.

I'm not liking what I see.

So here I propose some changes.

Sri's State of the Union.

I'm not in a relationship, but eventually I will be, until then, stop bitching about not having someone and enjoy what I do have, which is good friends, awesome cooking skills and a crafty mind.

Stop letting the idiots of my past (read Mr Conservative) rule over my future. One man or many will not make or break this chica.

Life is not about what happens to you, its about what you do about it. Repeat this mantra often and whenever confronted by something you think you won't succeed at.

Travel far and often. The world is very small and you should see more of it… but first, finding my passport.

Find something that you are absolutely terrified of doing and do it anyway. And most importantly... Stop avoiding your life, its going to keep going even if you aren't.

blah...

My hormones are running amuck today.

I just feel so... I don't know! Melancholy. I suppose it doesn't help that today is one of those blah, overcast kind of days outside. I've been dwelling over the question of how many of us are actually where we'd thought we'd be 10 years ago. The ideal job, the ideal partner, the ideal life? I think this started when I was watching this show on MTV called Ms. Seventeen. Long story short it's a reality show where these girls are trying to be the next cover model for Seventeen Magazine. And no, before you even ask, my dream was not to be on the cover of a magazine. My dream was to be a writer for a big fashion magazine or at least for ah… well, any magazine. Bits of the show focused on the writer who has a Carrie Bradshaw type role and I found myself being so jealous of her.

When I was young... I had things all planned out. I was going to go to college, get my degree and eventually land that job. Things didn't turn out like that. Instead, my family didn't do well and there was not enough money to send me to college so I had to pay for it myself. However, in order to do that I was working part-time while doing the college and could still only afford to take 1 or 2 classes a semester. Eventually it got to the point where I had to take care of myself financially and school had to wait for a bit... so while many people's parents were paying for their tuition and apartment and car and then giving them money while they did their internships and worked the low paying jobs so they could move up the corporate ladder... I was still working just to be able to support myself while struggle to complete the degree. And I've done ok for myself financially and finally complete my degree but currently I'm not in the profession I want to be. I do not 'enjoy' my current profession by any means but it's tolerable and it pays the bills. It's just at this point I'm financially unable to take a low paying entry level job somewhere. [Now is the time I could use a Sugar Daddy... :0)]

Oh well. I'm sorry for whining. I'm just feeling pretty crappy today... I'm sure I'll feel better soon....

run...

sometimes you just want to run away...

and sometimes you just wish there was someone to run away with...

am i the one who watched it all?

I know I can't be the only one out there who has made it through Sex & the City - the entire series. It was a hit with legions of followers. That's why I get really confused when I read things that talk about how Carrie and the girls would be so disappointed at a single girl saying she wanted a relationship or wanted to settle down.

I've heard this casually dropped in various places, but I was moved to write by reading in Judith Strauss's Unhooked Generation (anu, u have to read this one). Near the start of her book, she's weaving a tale of her single-hood and mentions she eventually reached a point in her life where her career and independent lifestyle just weren't doing it for her. When she paused for a moment she would find she was lonely and unfulfilled.

She went on to say she had been ashamed of this feeling and that the Sex & the City girls would be sneering at her. Huh? Maybe she didn't get obsessed and buy the entire series like I did, but did she at least watch season 6? Agreed...the girls were strong singles who embraced life with fashion and style. However, the girls let their vulnerable sides show throughout the series. They were all on a quest for the right one, going through several "right one for right nows". Even Samantha's revolving door snagged a couple of true loves. That final season saw each of the girls reaching that point, that place of truly knowing where your heart should be.

I cried way too much at the raw humanity in the last few episodes. One thing was clear to me even through my tears. These single women we all adored and some wanted to be... they were just like the rest of us searching for that final piece of the puzzle.