learning to be alone...

Well Mr Conservative made an official announcement on his other woman and his so called wedding plans… Woopdefrickin do...

So, nowadays I spent my time while he is on a date with THE other woman, on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor, and the two bathroom floors and then wiping down and reorganizing the book shelves, counter tops and then taking countless showers and moping the floor and … running out my apartment to the most furtherest mall to get my groceries... bla bla bla - so here's my dilemma... I've forgotten how to be alone. I’ve forgotten how to let go…

its not that we were together most of the time – but I always knew he was there… in my mind - all the time. Now, I'm totally totally incapable of being alone... that thoughts… he, not being there is killing me. The worse part is he is there… with another woman.

I read somewhere that the worst thing could ever happen to a person is - knowing someone they love… is in love with another person… I don’t know, life is unfair most of the time *correction all the time.

i wish i may, i wish i might, have the wish i wished tonight

I had planned to boycott today.

I had planned to hide.

Instead, I closed my eyes and made a wish - upon a star.

Here is to wishing that I find passion. Passion in a kind, caring romantic man.

Here is to wishing for strong arms wrapped around me, secret smiles shared across a crowded room and quiet nights snuggled beneath a blanket.

Here is to wishing for "I Love You's" whispered in my ear, an arm around my waist and finger tips brushing against my cheek.

Here is to wishing that I had a Valentine...

haunted

Some people are haunted by ghosts.

I am haunted by words. Words from my past. Words from my present.

Words that won't go away.

"I think it's about that time. I may regret this tomorrow...but right now, I'm just not happy." "I'm not sure why I've said those things." "I love you more than you'll ever know. I just wish I had told you sooner." "At this age, it's important that you learn self control."

I don't know what it is about the last few of days but there they are...running through my head on repeat. Different voices, different memories...stealing any moments of silence that I have.

Here's to hoping they'll get bored and wander away...