Friday, 24 February 2012

Crush on a first sight... part 2


Now, I'm sitting here trying to figure out how awkward is that to meet my ‘sorta’ crush at first sight again yesterday. I thought… I would probably never see him again…. Come on, I just need someone to respond to this and tell me I'm not the strangest person in the world! The guy I met in a elevator… Don’t you think this is awkward? Omg, world is really really small… I seriously believed that I would never talk’ to him again? I mean… I would/could have totally in crush with him for at least coupla months… but after yesterdays’ meeting, I can safely say that he is just not so irresistible anymore! He seems like just another guy! Nothing great! I feel so pathetic!

No crush… 

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

crush on a first sight...

This topic has been nagging me all for last few hours, nattering at the back of my head in a most annoying manner, suggesting I might want to think of something to write. I did a fine and wonderful job of ignoring it, and now here it is time to go home… yet I’m still at office!
Maybe because it has been quite a while since I had any sort of crush on anyone (OK.... not in last coupla years), and even then I'm not sure the emotion I experienced was worthy of the word "crush." I have had, at times, a special appreciation for number cute guys… the gym guy, my boss etc. I still like them, but I don't feel the need to follow them or do online searches, or even notice them when they are around (OK... i did some online stalking on my sorta cute boss... but that was coupla years ago).
Now, I'm sitting here asking myself this very important question: what exactly constitutes a crush?

So, just for fun, I asked Google for its opinion.

Google directed me to The Urban Dictionary, which tells us that a crush is "a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special." Hmmmm. If we go by this definition, then no - I have never had a crush on any guys. There have been a few guys whom I found very attractive and extremely special but I honestly never had a burning desire to be with any of them. I was always quite contented to worship from afar.

Google images likes Orange Crush a lot, and also gave me this:

While Crush is cute and all, I think he's probably way off topic, unless you're a turtle, or have an obscure turtle obsession. So, moving on.

Google helps us out again by recommending an article on WikiHow which points out, just in case you're not clear on this, how to tell whether you are having a crush or not. 32 points in this little article, including such gems as: Notice if you get a sudden thrill when you hear his name. Notice if you think about him in the most random moments. You can't sleep. Notice how many times you've Googled his name.

Again, by these standards, I fail the crush test.

Google also directs me to a restaurant, a movie, and several bands named Crush.

While all of this is informative and interesting, it isn't all that helpful. And I fear I shall have to include that, since Google is the God of research, I do not now, and have never had in the past, a crush on a guy I met on an elevator. It was just a short conversation, his name is Azrul and I found out that he is the head of operational risk at telecom m’sia, we attended the same seminar thingy and he is just so irresistible… I just can’t stop thinking about him… oh my! 



Alas.

Friday, 17 February 2012

target practice...


I firmly believe that when you are single, you should not be allowed to enter any store within the months of January or February without first being in one of those blinders… like the ones they put on racehorses.


My reasoning for this is simple. With blinders on, you can stay focused on what you are there to get and you can try to avoid the heart shaped boxes of candy, pink candles and sickeningly sweet cards that profess undying love.

For me the worst thing about Valentine's Day is that little window of loneliness that magically appears whenever I see these things… and I hate myself whenever I get back into daydreaming of his warm breath on the back of my neck while listening to his heartbeat against my cheek and how perfectly his hands fit the curves of my waist... just to make myself happy for a little moment. And where I totally forget the times he made my cry at office…

It’s like a friend once said, “Sri… if love is blind… maybe we need a Seeing Eye dog(s).” 

God… I need to let go of him… and move on! Please give me the strength!

Thursday, 16 February 2012

letting it go...


Sometimes in life, things that are good for you...can also be painful.

I've decided... to end it!

It came unexpectedly and without prompts. I didn't even realize it was happening...truth be told, I think he is oblivious to my enlightenment. But no matter...

He could've loved me forever. He could've had my heart. He could've done a lot of things.

But he didn't.

So I let go!... OK I'm trying... 

I can feel my heart mourning the loss... but sometimes you have to walk through hell to get to heaven and I know this was just part of the journey . One chapter coming to a close...